Coping with Holiday Stress

A time of festivity, parties, shopping, entertaining, religious observances, family gatherings, and decorating, the holiday season can be full of excitement and promise. However, with this time of year also comes stress.

For many, the first signs of holiday stress surface around this time of the year, when stores start stocking shelves with Christmas decorations and candies. People begin to feel the clock ticking and that there is not enough time to fit in everything. We often have higher expectations for this time of year than for any other, which places even more pressure on us and increases the likelihood we may end up disappointed.

Signs of stress may include feeling impatient, worried, cranky, and in some cases, depressed. A person may experience sleep or appetite disturbances, or other physical complaints such as muscle tension, headache, fatigue, or stomach aches. Children are not immune to this stress. Parents set the pace for their kids, who also feel the sense of urgency.

The following are some tips to help you minimize holiday stress:

Gift giving

Set a holiday budget
Do not equate love with cost and quantity of gifts
Consider giving the gift of your time and service
Ask people what they want instead of searching for the perfect gift
Shop early so there is more of a selection and you have time to really choose
Don't head toward the mall in 5 o'clock traffic or during peak times
Shop on the Internet

Entertaining
Who says the house has to be perfectly clean or elaborately decorated? And who says you need to serve a gourmet meal?

Ask others to bring their favorite dish
Use paper plates
Buy prepared foods
Cook and freeze foods ahead of time
Think simple, and focus on the purpose of the get together

Getting together with family

Evaluate past holidays and traditions; consider any changes in the family structure. Be flexible and willing to let go of ideas of the way things "should be."
Share responsibilities so the pressure does not fall on one person
Plan to visit some friends and family soon after the holidays. There is no need to squeeze everything in before the New Year.
Don't get hung up on celebrating on the actual holiday. Time together is what matters.
Allow enough time to relax and recover after visiting with others
Tell your family about your commitments so you are not struggling against their expectations
Travel after rush hour. When driving long distances, allow yourself time to stop and rest.
Manage your time carefully and take care of yourself

The holiday blues
For some, the holidays can be depressing. Feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anger can intensify when contrasted with the joy expected of the holidays. Factors that can contribute to holiday depression include:

Associating the holidays with unresolved family issues or a painful childhood experience
Having an expectation that you "should" feel happy
Facing the loss of a loved one with whom you have shared the holidays
Having unrealistic expectations of family and friends
Being away from family and friends; feeling isolated from others
Reflecting on losses or disappointments over the past year
Coping with changes in family obligations or disruptions of traditions due to recent marriages, remarriages, divorce, or death
Drinking more alcohol, a depressant, which is more available during the holidays

Coping with holiday depression

If there has been a recent loss, you may want to do something different like take a vacation with a family member or friend.
Spend time with people who care about you. Do not isolate yourself. If you feel there is no one available, then reach out to others in need.
Attend a religious service or community gathering
Allow yourself some time to reflect on your losses, and feel the sadness and loneliness.
Family and friends may be concerned; let them know what you need from them.
Get help if you need it. Talk to your doctor, a mental health professional, or minister or rabbi.
Make some plans for after the New Year to help avoid the post-holiday let down.